Red Wine / White Wine

“Do you like boys or girls?”


Confused? That is exactly what people who identify as bisexuals often hear. This #PrideMonth, one of our dear tribemates shares how people in general perceive bisexuality and dating!

“Dating and relationships have always been full of ups and downs in my life; even more so since I came out as bisexual. There are several myths that wrap themselves around the whole narrative of dating as a bisexual person, I’m here to tell you that they are all FALSE!

It all started on a cloudy afternoon when I told this boy I was talking to for a while now that I was bisexual. “So that means you might be cheating on your partner with other people then, no?” No. Fidelity, commitment and attraction are very different terms, since they mean different things; secondly, this very statement disregards the existence of polyamorous individuals. Having more than one partner is not always cheating, nor is being attracted to more than one gender.

While navigating my way through relationships, I have had people question the validity of my relationship and my sexuality. The idea that we are supposed to be equally attracted to both genders is a sham. Like David Rose once famously said “I like the wine and not the label” except, instead of liking all wines, I like red and white wine.

Another very baseless assumption that I've seen being woven into the narrative is that of “threesomes”. Not every individual is interested in threesomes, bisexuals are no different. Liking or exploring the idea of engaging in a threesome is absolutely subjective. Stop making it a compulsion that someone should want a threesome just because they are bisexual.

While there are multiple negatives doing the rounds when it comes to dating as a bisexual, it has its own set of positives. I’ve had very supportive friends throughout this journey; they’re like my gay gang. Although, my little positive was this girl I met via Bumble. I was very skeptical at first but I’m glad I went through with it. She made me feel comfortable about my identity in public spaces. From holding hands to stealing a quick kiss outside restaurants to not giving a damn about the looks we got, she made it feel very normal. For someone who has always the type to be scared of the consequences of PDA with a girl, this was refreshing. It felt so new, yet like something I always craved for. Even though things didn't work out for us, I’m glad I got to see things through her perspective.

In my opinion, a lot of these stereotypes can be done away with if people just take the effort to educate themselves on the intersection between bisexuality and dating. There are a bunch of queer written articles on the internet that help with navigation as well as exploration.

Some things that you really should not do are:

1. Do not give unsolicited advice on our dating life

2. Do not ask us to educate you. The internet is free, use it if you have it!

3. Absolutely do not ask us how we “do it” with the same sex

4. Let us open up to you voluntarily, do not force us to tell you about our dating lives”

With that, I hope our tribemate could enlighten you and well, when you fall for someone irrespective of their gender, you will truly belive that, indeed #LoveIsLove!

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